Eros and Thanatos: A Raw Poem on Desire, Oblivion, and the Cycle of Self-Destruction

Dive into "Eros and Thanatos," a raw and introspective poem that explores the complex interplay between life, desire, and the human instinct for self-destruction.

The blue lady, oil painting, 2007

EROS AND THANATOS

Adrift within myself I seek her
Between her legs lies the drowning pool
That I empty out in jerks
because life won’t come apart in just one push,
won’t come unstuck in the discharge
of one orgasm alone
There’s always a final delight to be drunk in

And she knows it
Welcomes me
Weaves me into prose’s crafty framework,
the rhythmic poetry of matches
Sticks on from bursts through to the bone,
beams spun from mist and mucosa
And all I do is talk, and talk, and talk
myself into oblivion

That’s when she contracts
closes around me and secretes
the deepest of all silences.
She lies
I know by heart the repertoire of ruses
that rocks a woman’s wit and guile
when she climaxes less than she would have

Schemingly, slowly, she spreads, 
scatters disturbing aromas,
cracks open the corollary of potential
and awash in jealous ointments
I am once again besieged
by all that I wanted to give up
I slip outside

She never cries
She responds to caresses with duress, never her core
To hide my defenselessness I get dressed,
Put the box-cutter in my pocket
Retractable, I light up a smoke, taste it,
and still have the strength to boast the wit
of one in it just for kicks

Wordlessly I grope
She’s like all others
Wants it all, and I can’t cope.

Translated from portuguese by Allan Vidigal